Filling Out My Passport Application Online
by Constance Brewer
When was the day of my divorce? The passport application wants to know. I don’t remember. I didn’t know I was supposed to celebrate that day and engrave it in memory. I have a vague idea, but it was 26 years ago. A lot has happened since then. I assume there is a document somewhere that holds the exact date, if not the minute we went our separate ways, only further bound together through children. The application drones on. What’s the ex’s place of birth? I panic guess, reread through the creased marriage certificate and find I guessed right. My mother’s date of birth, father’s, where they were born. All the things I am really not interested in recalling. Mother’s maiden name. Birthplace. Ghost ancestors demanding to unfade from my remote past. I complete the lengthy application, print it out, wondering why the government needs to pot-stir the memories I’d much rather repress. My history is mine to acknowledge or reject, or fold into a crumpled ball, to be stuffed deep into a place I won’t look for another 26 years.
Constance Brewer’s work has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies. She is the editor of Gyroscope Review poetry magazine, the author of Piccola Poesie: A Nibble of Short Form Poetry, and co-author of Prayer Gardening (Kelsay Books). Constance is a big fan of Welsh Corgis, weekends, and whiteline woodcuts. Find out more at constancebrewer.com.