Dodgem Ride
by Julia Webb
the doctors who couldn’t do their job / because they didn’t have all the information / the nurses who were kind but busy / the doctor who attached a DNR against her wishes / the ambulance who took her to one hospital / over another / not the hospital / that she had almost died in / so did not have her records / the records languishing on a computer somewhere / unsharable / me on the end of the phone / trusting the medical experts / me after / wishing I’d thought to tell them / about that previous illness / assuming they would see her file / or more likely / the thought not even occurring to me / unable to see the broader picture / in a crisis / worrying about money / childcare / train timetables / the doctors doing / or not doing their job / the nurse making the difficult phone call / the long hot train ride / the curling crust of a sandwich / the kindly attendant in the Chapel of Rest / the plastic bag of belongings / the solidity of her dead body / the vacancy / the willing her to sit up / say something / a boulder forming in my guts / so many forms to fill in / the world suddenly smaller and bigger / being very much alone / except for that boulder
Julia Webb is a neuro-divergent writer from a working class background. She grew up in a London overspill town surrounded by pine tress. She has had two poems highly commended in the Forward Prize. She has three collections with Nine Arches Press – the third – The Telling was published in 2022.
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